Coffee Shop or Apartment ?

Elwood came to the Coffee shop for the " fake studying" , He meet many ladies with his LLU Dental school T-Shirt.

The other day was my birthday. Another Hallmark holiday. I don’t know what disturbed me more. The people who didn’t send me a card or the people who did? If you Google my name does it tell my birthday and real age, crap!

Anyhow, here’s another observation that can only be traced to my age.

When did the purchase of a cup of coffee entitle you to a day of home ownership? Best I can tell you can show up at Stell’s around 7: 00 am. For the purchase of one cup of coffee you will receive the following:

- A table and chair
- Unlimited use of Electrical outlet.
- Air conditioning
- Bathroom
- Free refill of your coffee.
- Free honey, sugar and milk and water.

If I owned a coffee shop, I would serve the coffee in three sizes. Scram, Beat it and get the Hell out of here. Is there any other business in America that lets you just hang out all day in there building for $ 1.50. If I ever loose my job. I am going to sleep at the Y at night and then just hang out at coffee shops all day. In Redlands we have enough shops that I could probably have a 10 location rotation.

Why do they refill coffee for free? Why is beer one and done. How come I can’t get a free refill at hangar 24? Is a “HOP “more expensive than a coffee bean?

See you all at the coffee shop. I will be the guy with the Commodore 64 and a cup of”I have no place to be for 8 hours. “

It's me Mark we ride together

Are you too cool for school?

There seems to be a time and a place where certain people are your boys.

In certain circumstances you can go from being someone’s boy to a total stranger.

Just this morning I was dropping off my rig at the Repair shop. I like to throw the bike in car and ride home…that’s how green I am.

Anyhow, I saw said cycle dude at the coffee shop. I am like sup dog…Now on Sunday morning I am the funniest person he has ever met. But now he is with a co-worker.

Lets just say I have relatives who owe me money who looked happier to see me. I couldn’t get a “Hey this is fake lance “or a “Whoa did you see Manny went 8 for 13”.

Makes you wonder. In our crew who’s your boy? , no I mean are they your boy at crit or are they just the dude who pours you coffee. Steve you are both. I would take a pull and a scone for you.

Just remember If you see someone around town and there not in spandex its OK to say sup.

A quick note , Over the weekend a bunch of the crew went to the Jeff and Tricia’s wedding party. We learned a few things about cyclist that night.

1. We don’t dance.
2. Cyclist Wives Don’t dance.
3. People who go 4 wheeling get liquored up.
4. Then they want to dance with Cyclist wives.

Thanks For being Manny

Today 7/31/2008 the Boston Red Sox traded Manny Ramirez. I have no poetic words for the action. Manny Ramirez was and is the purest hitter in all of baseball. He looked more like captain jack sparrow than a left fielder.

Today I mourn the loss of Manny. Thanks for being yourself. Thanks for being Manny. Because at the end of the day We all loved Manny being Manny

The Old West

In this day and age of communication its funny to me how many people don't really seem to get it still. What do I mean. Well between the cell phone, pager, home phone, e-mail , text messaging and voice mail and lets not forget Instant messaging for all you AOL dorks. There is basically nowhere to hide.



Have you ever been at home and your cell phone rings. you see the number and your like oh hell no. Then 1 minute later it's your home phone. Seriously.



See I liked the Old West. The scenario would have gone something like this . Hey old Two finger willie escaped and were getting together a posse. You would see the sheriff next week at the salon and your like damn what time was that . crap i though you said 1:00 at the old red barn.......Man I would have really loved to be there.



So here the deal unless you are forming a posse and The hooters bandit has escaped lets just go with the one form of messaging....and if nobody gets back to you in one day. Maybe there's a message.

THE 100 YEAR WAR " RIDER V. CAR "

To understand the the battle we cyclist endure every ride , you must first understand history. In fact you really need to return to the 100 year war between the English and the French. This war began in the 1300's

The Hundred Years' War was a time of military evolution. Weapons, tactics, army structure, and the societal meaning of war all changed, partly in response to the demands of the war, partly through advancement in technology, and partly through lessons that warfare taught.

But what the 100 year war really gave us was the " finger " . See the English had this weapon called the long bow. You would pluck the bow with your middle finger. When the French would capture a Englishman they would cut off his middle finger so he could no longer pluck the bow.

During a huge rally at the battle of Agicourt the English overcame a 20,000 to 5,000 man disadvantage. At the end of the battle all of the English would hold up there middle finger and yell " pluck you " , This gesture has now filtered its way some 700 years later to what we now now as the " the finger ". and of course the "pl " has been dropped and an "f " has been switched.

So next time a car or a Health net rider pisses you off, you can take pride in the gesture and understand the origin of its roots. So get off my wheel and " pluck you ".

DON'T SHOW UP FOR THE SUNDAY RIDE WITH THAT SCHWINN JUST YET

In Redlands there are many cycling teams. Each of them has there equal compliment"s of poser's, guys who actually race , Fred's and weekend warriors. If you spend enough time on a bike in Redlands you will eventually end up on one of these teams.

On Team Redlands we are lucky enough to have " the four horseman ". These are the four guys who dictate where we go. how fast we go there , how many miles we go , so on and so forth.

The Sunday ride has been well, very lame for a while now. None of the horseman show up. The Sunday ride is pretty predictable with a bunch of irregular surges , half Wheeling and a sprint for a mailbox near the Mormon church. Nothing to blog about.

Today as I sat there with the other " plumbers " of the team a weird thing started to happen. Norm showed up.......Then Zack..........OK the Sunday ride just got interesting. ..Whoa there's JT... then came Turner...

These four Horseman had not been on the Sunday ride since we moved to Stell's.

Long story short...I got home at 1:30 pm today from the ride...Rode through lots of single track....Threw my bike over a fence...Heard a guy yell " Sick balls chopper " had a peacock attack my bike...Had a fat women on a horse in Norco yell at us...

The moral is this ..the four horseman didn't get that good on there bike's because of that predictable Sunday ride. These guys push the miles and the tempo...We should always ride like were with the four horseman...

REAR VIEW MIRRORS ARE NOT TROPHY CASES

The other day I was on the road. I noticed this dude in his 30's driving his Sweet 1998 Honda civic. That car alone is gonna pay off with the ladies. But just in case they don't fall for his concern for good gas mileage or his choosing a car with few mechanical problems. He added that one thing that really tells all you need to know. He has his " graduation tassel " on the good old rear view mirror.

Now here is the deal I'm going to give him credit that tassel is from a college. ITT tech and the Jack Taino school of bar tending don't have graduation with gowns or tassels. They just e-mail you a diploma and your on your way. So I ll go ahead and say its from Riverside community college and he is in the Management training program at big 5. I digress, the digits on the tassel were 98. Obviously he got the car as a graduation gift.

So hear is the question. What is the statute of limitations on a graduation tassel hanging from the rear view. Can a man ever have some crap hanging form the rear view. I mean its the big 10 year anniversary of this blessed event.

Since this traumatic event on the road. I have been paying attention to what people are hanging from the rear view. Here is a sample of the crap I see on my way to Hangar 24. ( did you know i get a free beer every time i mention H24 in my blog).

Pitt Pass = Nascar freak.

Sun Catcher = Holistic Zen driver about to be blinded.

Handcuffs = Kinky chick or Dawg the bounty hunter

Air Freshener = Cinnaberry Tree scent , The ladies just go crazy for that smell ( see what is a Gilroy)

Bandanna = gang affiliation

Child's first pair of Shoes = That so precious i am gonna hurl.