Beenie Babies take up too much space

Hosting two Blogs is a tough job that requires a keen understanding of the Internet and all it's gifts. It's always good to remember that one mans treasure is not always another's.

To keep up with my irreverent look at life just click on the Teamredlands link to the right.

Another problem solved

Swine Flu ?

Hangar 24 , a stock I would own.

This weekend was the first anniversary of Hangar 24.

They say that 78 % of businesses fail in the first 6 months.

I read recently that the economy has been going south?

I noticed more home are for sale in my neighborhood.

So, As I walked the 3 miles from my car to the entrance of the Hangar 24 I took time to reflect upon a true success story.

With a transplanted building from Norton AFB, some used beer making equipment from the defunct Monte Carlo brewery. Ben has made the American dream come true. Congratulations to him and his family.

It’s nice to know that beer, will keep us going through any economic downturn. Last time I checked no breweries have received any TARP money to keep going. That’s because the American people will always support beer and the men who make it god bless America and and god bless HANGAR 24. Sorry I think I am still a little drunk.

PS , Is it still to late to Invest in Hangar 24 ?

Countdown to 50

Day's until I turn 50............1,178

The Kit make's the man

There has been much confussion lately as to who rides for what team. In an effort to make everyone feel like one big cycling community a show of solidairoty was evendent on the Saturday ride.

Next week all riders will be asked to wear the Kit of there respected allegence. I for one will continue to look toward a day when no Kit will be required.

Body Suit man , now thats a team I know some of you can get behind.

Sharks and old peolpe like Florida ?

Shark mystery finally solved?

Each winter, the basking sharks that live in the northern Atlantic and Pacific oceans vanish for the cold season. Where do they go? The question has puzzled scientists for decades, but they have uncovered at least part of the answer.

The basking shark populations that live off New England head to the tropics, National geographic reports.

Scientists solved the mystery by tagging 25 of the giant fish and tracking them with satellite transmitters. Many of the sharks swam to Florida. Others headed to the Caribbean.

"When a tag popped up in the Caribbean Sea, the scientists said they were really blown away,"

My grandparents and every other person I know living in the northeast heads to Florida or Arizona every winter. Are you really telling me, a team of scientist from Seaworld of Cincinnati and National geographic, used infrared satellites to determine that people much like sharks enjoy warmer water?

I can wait for the Adult Book store study that shows more 8 inch vibrators are sold than 3 inch ones.

God Bless the scientific community and the government grants that keep this good work going.

You think you know peolpe

The 1994 Major league baseball strike led to the cancellation of 948 games and the entire post season and the World Series.

The relevance of the above action is an important foot note on any response to what happened to Manny Ramirez yesterday. Major league baseball needed something to get the public excited about baseball and return to the park.

That next season saw an epic home run battle by Sammy Sosa and Mark McGuire. The list of other mediocre players hitting home runs was ridiculous. The fuel of choice back then was Andro, the rub, the clear and Hgh. What ever happened to Tang?

If you think there is any sport in the world that is not full of people using you performance enhancing drugs than you are the one high on crack.

Steroids, HGH, cow urine, horse feces, or West African bullfrog semen. Is Pete Rose still not in the Baseball hall of fame for betting on his own team to win games?

If you honestly think that in the last 10 years one team for even one season had NO PLAYERS using Steroids or HGH you’re kidding yourself. Please save the, “Oh but this guy only did it for one year,” and, “No one knows how long he was doing it.” Save that.

I guess my point is this. Baseball is not much different than a Urban Cougar. She was getting a little old and tired looking so she went in for some work. Botox, tummy tuck and Boob Job.
Major League baseball went the same route.

Manny got caught loaded up with female Estrogen. My old Red Sox Manny jersey always fit me a little weird in the chest area and now I know why.

Why is Chinese food better a day later ?

The other day I received a flyer in the mail from an establishment called " Hong Kong Cuisine"

boasting it's grand opening and are you ready for this " free delivery".

The one thing Redlands has been missing was Chinese food delivered to my home. I called the other night and within 30 minutes a man was at my back door with piping hot Chinese food.

I told the proprietors of the Hong Kong Cuisine I would take it upon myself to tell all of Redlands of there free delivery and wicked good Vegetable Egg Foo Young.

So for those of you who missed the grand opening of the dream Cafe owned by Babu Bhatt. Please don't miss this opportunity to keep the little guy going.

Here is an excerpt of my conversation with the owner:

Owner You're a very kind man. Very kind, thank you. Very kind..

You must be 18 or over

This Sunday will represent the 6 month mark since I broke my pelvis. There are 1,330,044,544 Chinese people who could care less so don’t worry your not alone.

I was instructed by my doctor not to get into any cycling situations that may lead to my ass hitting the pavement until that date.

In the last few weeks I have done the 909 sampler rides. Heading out to Rain cross, Tuesday night twice and this last Thursday night I went to Crit.

So here are my observations of the three rides

1. Sunset World championships: you can’t fake this ride if you have no cardio. You can peacock your way to serpentine. After that it’s just you and the sound of a trash truck beep beep beep.

2. Crit: you can’t fake this ride if you can’t hold a line into a turn. Sure I came around the front on the 2nd lap rode hard to San Bernardino Avenue. Then the real move came. I really felt as if I was a part of something for 4 and ½ minutes!

3. Rain cross: you can’t fake this ride if you have not been out for longer than 2 hours on a ride. I always say you can tell how your Saturday is going to go as we climb up honeycomb hill in Grand Terrace. On my first Saturday back I think I sharted myself on that climb out.

Anyhow, the 6 months is over and now I am free to get some Ink a piercing and ride like the wind ( Christopher cross ) version of the wind that is.

Kenny Don't Surf !

I was at the Redlands Bike Classic this weekend. I feel like its your civic duty to head downtown to watch the race . I have a bike that has a suggested retail value of $ 9,300 and I don't even know what " Crit" stands for ?

Since I am still on the 6 month DL (disabled list) for those of you with no knowledge of baseball. I spent my weekend with the rest of the " Shammy Sniffers" on the curb. Did I mention recently how much fun it is to be big leagued , Now I know what Midwest aluminum siding salesman feel like.

While I was watching the races I was thinking how fun it would have been to watch the Races with Kenny Powers. Kenny was once asked if he had ever competed in a Triathlon. to which he responded “I play real sports…not trying to be the best at exercising.”

I always though the classic was missing something. Betting. This year for the 35+ crits , i made available para mutual betting. Next year I am going to include a pick 6 which will include the cat 5 race.

The new Team Redlands kits were on display at the races. Note to Team members you may want to avoid riding by any of the schools or churches with the new french Rio cut down the groin. A special thanks to Borat for his input on the cut of the kit.

Welcome back baseball , GO SOX !

A home is not an ATM

I have been wanting to send a quick thank you note to all my fellow Americans who couldn't tell the difference between a Home and a ATM.

A - ROID'S MESSAGE MACHINE

"Top Ten Messages Left on Alex Rodriguez's Answering Machine."

10. "Hey, it's Mark McGwire. Want to get together this week and not talk about the past?"

9. "Joe Torre here -- thanks for helping book sales"

8. "Could you find a steroid that keeps you from choking in the playoffs?"

7. "Are you worried this will taint all the championships you didn't win?"

6. "It's Bernie Madoff. Nice try but I'm still the most hated man in New York"

5. "Michael Phelps here. Got any snacks?"

4. "This is Sammy Sosa. Just pretend you don't speak English"

3. "Michael Phelps again. Did I call you or did you call me?"

2. "Hey, it's Rod Blagojevich -- I'll say you're innocent, if you say I am"

1. "It's Madonna. You got a phone number for Jeter?"

My dad needs an Owl

My father called the other day and said he needed an Owl.

He like myself have never read a book so I knew he was not making a Harry Potter reference.

Then I thought maybe that was code for a women. Maybe in the 1930's they called chicks they met night Owls.

Well apparently an Owl will scare away birds from your house or in his case the 8 x 10 patio cell they give seniors at Del Boca Vista.

So after our weekly trip to Sizzler for Malibu Chicken we headed over to Home Depot.

Here he is with the Owl. If this doesn't work he says he wants a BB gun. I am reluctant to buy him the BB gun but you gotta let kids make there own mistakes.

Lots of things have Changed since last I rode

The world has Changed since the last time I rode my bike. I got out the other day for my first venture on the road and I was struck by the many things that have changed since last time I rode.

I spent lots of time in the gym during the last 90 days. In the past I would ask someone If I could work in with them on a machine. Now you just have to wait for them to finish sending a Text message. Sorry fatty that does not count as cross training.

I have lots of Insurance , I changed to State Farm. I have have auto , home , fire , earthquake , locus swarm , life and something called an umbrella. Oops I don't have Life they wouldn't take that risk, do you blame them?

I was attacked by a pack of wild bees. I remembered Dane Cook and I punched one of them in the face. Damn that felt good to punch a bee in the face.

Someone was yelling hey fattass from a 1988 Honda civic in Mentone. I couldn't figure out who he was yelling at. I looked around and couldn't see anyone else ?

I have a new Bike. I figured this will be the toughest of all my comebacks. So I will need a technologically advanced steed to find my way back to my place in the riding world. I have no place in the riding world, that will never change.

The value of my 401k and Home have changed . Thank God another 600 stimulus check is in the mail. that should pay for some pedals for my bike. Will they change the name from 401 k to something else. 401 k just sounds like something that would have a really big number in it...mine does not.

My State Tax Refund is going to be paid as an I OWE YOU. I remembered they did that in dumb and dumber with the money in the suitcase. I would file early if I were you.

Jock Cousteau and Budweiser

No more free beer samples at SeaWorld.

There are no free lunches in life, but one could always count on free beer samples at Anheuser-Busch theme parks. Until now.The brewer has put the kibosh on the free beer samples at its SeaWorld theme park in San Diego.

The brewer plans to build restaurants, or other food-related venues, which have a broader appeal to children and families.

I will tell you the only appeal that place ever had for 50 bucks was the fact my father could throw down some free beer. this free beer allowed my father not to beat us as we waited in the heat for one hour to see the Seamore and Clyde show.


Thankfully I have memories of my youth . Enjoying the Shamu show in the splash zone while my Father was full of 8 ounce beer samples. I am just worried about the future of the parks. Parents will now be forced to endure the Penguin encounter sober. There will be more beatings at SeaWorld than a Walmart toy aisle.

''People who like beer and the hospitality of those facilities might be disappointed,'' Sea world executives said. ``This was something that had pretty narrow appeal. We were looking to expand it into something that had broader appeal.''

Really a broader appeal than beer. you might want to check your statistics. Well good luck with your new build a Shamu work shop for 19.95 a toy. I for one will not return until the beer is free once again and we can all watch the dolphin show the way God intended it.......Drunk.

Are you master of your Domain ?

There are two types of people in this world. The ones who get it and the ones who don’t.

Get what you’re asking.

That all of life can be traced to a little show called Seinfeld.

From 1990 thru 1998 we were given 180 episodes of Seinfeld. Until the advent of this show many of us just thought the daily freak show that we endured was unique to each of us.

This last year reminded me of how important Seinfeld is.

The root of many mistakes we all make can be traced to the worlds colliding episode. In life you should never let your worlds collide.

When your worlds start to collide you may have to lay low while the dust settles. A good place to do this is in a Bubble. The bubble Boy all taught us that a plastic bubble is a nice get away.

Once the heat is off you might head out to dinner with the family. Just remember that your nana may have owned a pony even though you hate ponies.

If you find yourself a little sluggish before a ride you might reach for a “mango “.

During my lay off I went shopping for a little support. I still can’t decide between the “bro” or the “Manzere. “

I went to Panera bread the other day for soup. I asked for small turkey bisque. When I asked for bread I was refused service for one year.

That seemed a little harsh so I headed over to H & H Bagel. The strike seemed to finally be over. I can still hear the echoes of no bagel, no bagel.

As you can see there are really no way you can go through a morning let alone an entire day without a Seinfeld reference? Just remember as funny as those shows were they all had more messages than an after school special starring blossom.

The next time you find yourself doing something that seems very familiar. Ask yourself what George would do. And if you find yourself in a situation George was in you are already in big trouble.

So as you head through this year remember that your only chance at success may be to do the opposite.

Good Luck and Serenity Now !