CELL PHONES ARE NEAT !

As a person who works at home I really don't spend many hours at Dunder Mifflin , ESRI or teaching the youth of America. So when I head out to interact with my fellow man its kinda a big deal. See when I am at home I have this thing called a telephone. When it rings I check caller ID and then on a rare occasion I answer the phone. Here is the deal when in god's name did being on a telephone become the most amusing thing in a person life.

Yesterday at the Starbucks located by the jamba juice I watched the above scene played out over and over. Sitting outside there were 2 girls in there early 20's , For 38 minutes the one girl talked on the phone to someone else. The other chick was so envious. she just kept checking her phone. She so wanted a call or a text , something. I mean how else would she validate her existence.

I really felt for the poor girl. I only hope that someday she will own a Suburban. She will drive her kids to Valley Prep and Talk on her cell phone all day. Keep the dream sweetie.

But seriously. Have you ever sat outside at the Citrus plaza and watched the number of people with that phone stuck to the side of there head. Imagine living in the 1980 's and someone showed you a picture from today. What would you guess those people were all doing ?

I will save my rant about text messaging for another day. Lets just say I don't subsrcibe and if you TEXT , you must be a 14 year old girl.

Anyhow , Here is a thoughtful solution to this problem

Historically the iconic phone booth represented a place where one could go to be alone for a private conversation, transform into superman or travel through time. Today, it’s obsolete in most cities. With the Portable Cellular Phone Booth, one can transform from a member of society to one that is closed off.

WHAT IS A BLUE LUPINE FLOWER

Since I have no kids, I work for the government. I can pretty much live and work at anywhere USA. I researched the top 100 places to live. All of the towns have these great sounding names. Lots of recreation, education, low crime , etc. I have to admit the thought of relocating was sounding tempting. Yeah, tempting until I saw # 92 on the list. Please read below Money magazines description of Grand Terrace.

92. Grand Terrace, Calif.
Population: 13,200Median home price (2006): $379,986Average property taxes (2006): $1,981Nestled between the Blue Mountain to the east and La Loma Hills to the west, this Inland Empire city offers great views and cool weather. Residents especially enjoy springtime, when the Blue Lupine flowers bloom on the mountain. The town proper is gorgeous in its own right, filled with unique houses and plenty of open space. Couple that with a high-performing school and friendly community, and Grand Terrace is a find in Southern California.

Wow, I would love to read Money Magazines description of a Colonoscopy.

Thanks I will just stay here in Redlands where the purple snow capped mountains reach the clear blue skies.

WHY I DONT DRINK AT WALMART

Where do you eat, where do you drink, who works on your car, who cuts your hair?

For me that answer has always been easy. From someone who has one location and the location is Redlands.

The recent opening of HANGAR 24 in town reminded me of why I have adopted this business model. Not a fan of the Super store. Although I have always wanted to say I own a 5 gallon can of black Olives.

Hangar 24 is a low key brewery out by the airport. Yes, we have a Airport in Redlands No chicken wings or Jalapeno poppers. Just some of the beast micro brew beer in the world. The Orange wheat is wicked good.

So on your way home from Jiffy Lube after a trip to super cuts ,remember you can still save your night with a trip to Hangar 24. If your not in the mood to drive to the aero puerto. most of the other local pubs and restaurants are now pouring hangar 24.

Thanks Ben for bringing beer to our town.

IRON MAN IS NOT A DRUNK

The last two Sundays I have gone to the Kevorkian. Today's feature was Iron Man. A truly inspirational movie. How did Robert Downey Jr. go from the dude in the " Mug Shot" to Iron Man. That has to be the greatest transformation on the planet. Just goes to show you can always reinvent yourself and get a second chance. The " dude " also played a villain. It was kinda hard to watch him drink scotch when you know he's a white Russian man.











Last weekend I saw forgetting Sarah Marshall. Truly the funniest aptow movie since the 40 year old virgin. Go to the web site and find your Hawaiian name. Kenneth from 30 rock plays a virgin on his honeymoon. His wife is hitting her stride and trying to push him a little too fast. He has the funniest line in the movie. In reference to his wife's body " If God was a city planner he would not have put a sewer so close to the playground "

Next weekend I will be hosting a field trip to the movies for all the other Single losers in town. As Michael Scott would say it's not the hornyness its the loneliness.

T-SHIRTS I MAY OR MAY NOT OWN

MAYBE THIS SHIRT HELPS



HEROS COME IN ALL SIZES

FOR DRINKING

SORRY BUT IT'S TRUE

I HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR A LONG TIME

ITS AN ELECTION YEAR

FEAR THE TAMPOON

Do you know these people? Are you one of them? What people do I speak of? Let me give you a not so fictitious conversation I had in the last 24 hours.

Bike dude: What happened out there did your Kotex slip?

Bike dude: Did your skirt ride up?

Bike dude: Are you on your period?

Apparently said individual has no female role models. Or maybe he is casting for a new “Tampax “commercial for men.

The point is this. who are these people. Would I be a stronger rider? If all I did was ride? , Would he be a more humble person if he did anything but ride? Does Uncle Rico need to go into a back in 1980 speech?

I love riding with this guy. God help you if you can’t change a flat as quick as Jeff Gordon’s pit crew (NASCAR). This task apparently has another correlation to your Sexual performance.

So the question I pose is simple. Is there a strong correlation between femine napkins and cycling? Do the last 10 guys on the Tuesday night ride wear something with wings? Is that why there chamois fit irregularly.

In the High end world of cycling I guess were all just one bad crit practice away from the feared Tampax reference. Fear the tampon and keep pedaling.

Yoga , What is that short for ?

Since the Marathon is behind me, I decided I need to get my core and flexibility back on track. I went to the gym to check out the various classes being offered.

I took the Yoga class.

I bought a teel yoga mat. I put my mat on the ground. When I came back this dude was on it.

I got the hell out of there. That pose was way to intimidating.

But seriously have you ever seen the peolpe in the aerobic room. That's all just a little too serious. Spend all day at dunder mifflin . hook up your leotard then get some boot camp, kick box and spin till bed time. Really.

Anyhow , to the dude that took my mat , keep it.